Loving thy self

My mother told me that when I was growing up, my older brother, and sister got more attention than I did because they are light skinned. I don't really remember this, but she said I used to feel bad when my Bajan, and American relatives doted on them, and ignored my younger brother, and myself. I said to my mom " I don't believe any of this." She said that she, and my dad made it their business to build up my self esteem from young, because they knew there would be inherent biases with my being a dark skinned girl. She often jokes and says, she gave me a little bit too much of an ego. #truethat . I love me some Shay. Anywho, I truly thank my parents. My dad is an alcoholic, but he did the very best he could for us while battling this a debilitating disease. He made sure that I loved myself more than anyone else. Only now as an adult, can I truly appreciate how lucky I was to be raised to be taught the value of me. When you don't have self love, it affects every aspect of your life. It also affects the lives of the people in your life. I feel like I sometimes have the burden of dealing with friends, and associates with low self esteem.

Sorry you didn't get the memo, that loving you is the pre requisite of loving anyone else, but I did. I'm so tired of walking on egg shells because I don't want to be perceived as this "know it all, think she's better than me" type of person. It's not that. It's just that I'm very sure of myself. Of course I have insecurities, but I refuse to let it consume me. I just remind myself that the other person has insecurities as well. If you don't want my advice, don't ask me for it. If you just want me to listen, let me know. If you want me to say something in particular to make you feel better, put in a request. I don't have time to fix whatever issues you have from within. I know I'm a good person. When I love you, I won't say it too often. I'm just not that kind of gal..but i'll show you. I never turn my back on a TRUE friend. However, I don't have time for bitches harboring secret resentment. At some point, I have to know when to step back, and just focus on me. I have so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime, and I'm a Speech Therapist..not a psychologist. Word to the wise, learn how to love yourself. This goes for men, and women. Whitney Houston said it best " Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all."