Next month, Hubby and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary! I cannot believe it's been 5 years already. Time does fly when you're having fun. It also flies when you're stressed. Hey, marriage isn't easy. Just the idea of committing yourself to someone for eternity, is daunting. It's like... "soo...it's just you...forever??". Yet, we took the plunge. Why beat around the bush. We're soulmates!
I LOVE the Wendy Williams show. Wendy is always saying that women shouldn't get married in their 20's, because you're too young to make a lifelong commitment to another person. Ok..because having a boyfriend at 45 is every woman's dream. I mean, seriously? Here's the thing.. I don't really feel like I missed out on anything. I am truly enjoying my 20's. Before the kids, Hubby and I were off, and on..but we had most of the same friends...so we partied, traveled, studied, drank, etc..together! I made so many amazing memories, and now that he's my husband..im glad he was there back in the day to share those moments with me. I got married at 24. Some may say my life is over, but when I see others.. I think they look like lonely losers.. I'm just saying... If you're gonna throw shade (negativity) my way, let's make it a full 360, and I throw the shade right back at ya. If I wanna go clubbing, strip clubbing, drinking, traveling, etc.. I still can. However, my priorities have changed. I don't do it as often. Which is why, when I do, I make it count. #turnup #nopicturesallowed #closedcircleoffriendsonly.
We were supposed to renew our vows this year. It didn't work out, and I'm bummed about it...but I know we will do something amazing. How can this man drive me so crazy, and make me love him so much at the same time? I have no idea. We're just taking it one step at a time.
Also, I'm seeking gift ideas for our anniversary. Comment below!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Loving thy self
My mother told me that when I was growing up, my older brother, and sister got more attention than I did because they are light skinned. I don't really remember this, but she said I used to feel bad when my Bajan, and American relatives doted on them, and ignored my younger brother, and myself. I said to my mom " I don't believe any of this." She said that she, and my dad made it their business to build up my self esteem from young, because they knew there would be inherent biases with my being a dark skinned girl. She often jokes and says, she gave me a little bit too much of an ego. #truethat . I love me some Shay. Anywho, I truly thank my parents. My dad is an alcoholic, but he did the very best he could for us while battling this a debilitating disease. He made sure that I loved myself more than anyone else. Only now as an adult, can I truly appreciate how lucky I was to be raised to be taught the value of me. When you don't have self love, it affects every aspect of your life. It also affects the lives of the people in your life. I feel like I sometimes have the burden of dealing with friends, and associates with low self esteem.
Sorry you didn't get the memo, that loving you is the pre requisite of loving anyone else, but I did. I'm so tired of walking on egg shells because I don't want to be perceived as this "know it all, think she's better than me" type of person. It's not that. It's just that I'm very sure of myself. Of course I have insecurities, but I refuse to let it consume me. I just remind myself that the other person has insecurities as well. If you don't want my advice, don't ask me for it. If you just want me to listen, let me know. If you want me to say something in particular to make you feel better, put in a request. I don't have time to fix whatever issues you have from within. I know I'm a good person. When I love you, I won't say it too often. I'm just not that kind of gal..but i'll show you. I never turn my back on a TRUE friend. However, I don't have time for bitches harboring secret resentment. At some point, I have to know when to step back, and just focus on me. I have so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime, and I'm a Speech Therapist..not a psychologist. Word to the wise, learn how to love yourself. This goes for men, and women. Whitney Houston said it best " Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all."
Sorry you didn't get the memo, that loving you is the pre requisite of loving anyone else, but I did. I'm so tired of walking on egg shells because I don't want to be perceived as this "know it all, think she's better than me" type of person. It's not that. It's just that I'm very sure of myself. Of course I have insecurities, but I refuse to let it consume me. I just remind myself that the other person has insecurities as well. If you don't want my advice, don't ask me for it. If you just want me to listen, let me know. If you want me to say something in particular to make you feel better, put in a request. I don't have time to fix whatever issues you have from within. I know I'm a good person. When I love you, I won't say it too often. I'm just not that kind of gal..but i'll show you. I never turn my back on a TRUE friend. However, I don't have time for bitches harboring secret resentment. At some point, I have to know when to step back, and just focus on me. I have so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime, and I'm a Speech Therapist..not a psychologist. Word to the wise, learn how to love yourself. This goes for men, and women. Whitney Houston said it best " Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all."
Take note skinny bi***es
I couldn't point this woman out in a line up, but I remember exactly how this day went down. Here I am, minding my own business while shopping at Marshalls. This woman walks up to me and says " I want you to know that I have been praying for you. No man, no husband, no sex, no kids, just me and jesus. One day you're gonna wake up, and all of that weight will have melted away." I was raised to always respect me elders. When elderly individuals feel the need to tell me their unwanted opinions, and how to parent my kids, I typically thank them (insincerely), and keep it moving. On this day, I was hot, tired, and not looking forward to the holiday line at the store. So it's not my proudest moment, but I told the woman that she needed the prayer because I have a man, husband, sex, and kids. I then walked away in annoyance. Like, what the hell?
Here's my thing. Just because we physically stand out from the rest, doesn't give ANYONE the right to tell us what they think is best for us. We all have our vices, trials and tribulations, sins, or whatever. A heroin addict can walk by you, and you may not even know what's going on in their life. Here comes a fat person, and then everyone thinks they know exactly what's going on. Shut the fu** up skinny bit**es. Let me live my life, make my mistakes, and learn from them. If you ain't my momma, my man, or in my friends circle, keep it movin'!
This post is short, sweet, and effective. I hope you all learned something.
Here's my thing. Just because we physically stand out from the rest, doesn't give ANYONE the right to tell us what they think is best for us. We all have our vices, trials and tribulations, sins, or whatever. A heroin addict can walk by you, and you may not even know what's going on in their life. Here comes a fat person, and then everyone thinks they know exactly what's going on. Shut the fu** up skinny bit**es. Let me live my life, make my mistakes, and learn from them. If you ain't my momma, my man, or in my friends circle, keep it movin'!
This post is short, sweet, and effective. I hope you all learned something.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Love, Marriage, and Kids
I think a weekly blog isn't enough! I have so many experiences, that I wish to share with the blogosphere. However, my profession requires alot of paperwork, and I can't rationalize blogging more than once a week.
This week, I had a bit of a snafu (is that how you spell it?) with my hubby. I won't disclose specific details. I don't believe in airing out dirty laundry, and inviting thirsty heifers into my marriage. However, this snafu got me thinking about love, marriage, and kids. I know hubby, and I are considered novices when it comes to marriage. However, it pisses me off when people that have been married 10 years+ brush away our issues because we haven't been married long. Um excuse me, were you not married for 4 years at some point? Everyone had to start at the very beginning. Shoutout to all of us that have been married for less than 10 years, and are doing what we can to make it work.
Back when Hubby, and I were just dating, we always talked about marriage. We had this great plan where I would graduate from school, work for a year, and then he would "surprise" me by popping the question. All of that went down the drain, when I got pregnant after only reconciling our relationship 3 weeks prior. Hubby's catholic parents wanted us to get married before we had our beloved Dari. I however, was against it. I felt like we had just gotten back together, and we had serious issues to work out before we could consider marriage. I wasn't about to drag our dead weight into a marriage. I didn't, and still don't care what anyone thinks about that. Hubby proposed to me when I was 7 months pregnant. It was very sweet, and cliche. He took me out to eat, and then proposed on the beach with candles, and everything. I remember the cops stopped next to us, and told us we weren't allowed to have open alcohol on the beach. I remember saying something like " I wish it was alcohol, but I'm 7 months pregnant. It's sparkling cider.". The cops finally realized what was going on, and drove off. We got married when our Dari was 5 months old. I just remember being so happy with our life, and thinking "why aren't we married?". I told hubby it's time to set aside some time to apply for a marriage license. We got married at the courts, a few weeks after that. It was small, and simple. We went to a photo studio, and took pictures afterwards. We also had a intimate dinner for close family, and friends at an awesome italian restaurant. Would I have wanted a wedding? Yes.. But marriage is more important.
Since getting married, I have changed alot. I often wonder how different things would have been, if we were married a few years before we started having kids. We came into this marriage as parents. That immediately changes the dynamic of a marriage. You have to work harder at your individual relationship with your partner. My life was so easily consumed by my Dari. He was, and still is our everything. Everything we did revolved around him. I think if we had even a year to ourselves to solidify our new relationship as husband, and wife, it would have made a difference. Instead, we were trying to find our groove as legal partners, while raising an infant. That's hardwork. Looking back, I can reflect on how it all played out. I'm not saying that I was miserable. I'm saying that we needed to work extra hard for our marriage, and I'm not sure we did..initially! I think overtime, as parenting became second nature, it allowed us breathing room to work on our connection with one another. Marriage is work but marriage is also about love. I suppose that not all marriages are love based, but mines is :).
After we got married, the dynamics of my relationships with my friends changed as well. I lost some friends after I became a parent, and I lost some after I got married. I was sad about it for awhile, but I realized that part of moving forward, is leaving people behind. For the friends that still remained, they proved themselves loyal, and true. However, it was just different. I remember how career oriented I used to be. I always knew I wanted to have a family, but I wasn't stressing it at that time. My friends and I were all about making connections, doing internships, and whatever else we needed to do to get ahead in my field. When I got pregnant with Dari, all of that changed for me...but my friends stayed the same. It took me awhile to realize that I had changed. My career was no longer my sole concern. I was growing a human being in my uterus! How amazing is that?? I felt like my world had stopped, but everyone kept moving forward. Once I found my joy in being a parent, that feeling slowly went away. I actually feel sorry for some of my friends, because it's hard to slow down and enjoy the ride. I feel that being surprised with Darien was Jehovah's way of gifting me with an amazing life. I'm also sooo thankful that I am not an old mom. I may, or may not have a 3rd child, but I can be happy with 2. Two kids that I had in my 20's! A personal goal of mine. To each its own.
I totally got off topic. I wanted to talk about how my hubby started asking me if I would be willing to go shopping for couple friends that are married. All of a sudden, hubby wanted to double date with people he knew, or met that were married. Initially, I was turned off. I was like, we already have friends... However, I quickly realized that he was on to something. Being married can be isolating. Only other married people can really understand what you are going through. For those of you that live with your bf/gf/baby daddy/partner, and think it's just like being married.. WRONG! It's entirely different. It's something you won't understand, until you're married. So, I started to see what my hubby was talking about. My friends are awesome, but it just wasn't the same. We have since met some married friends that we go out with occasionally. My best friend is also married with 2 kids, so we hang out alot with them.
What do you guys think about the relationship between marriage and kids, and marriage and friends??
This week, I had a bit of a snafu (is that how you spell it?) with my hubby. I won't disclose specific details. I don't believe in airing out dirty laundry, and inviting thirsty heifers into my marriage. However, this snafu got me thinking about love, marriage, and kids. I know hubby, and I are considered novices when it comes to marriage. However, it pisses me off when people that have been married 10 years+ brush away our issues because we haven't been married long. Um excuse me, were you not married for 4 years at some point? Everyone had to start at the very beginning. Shoutout to all of us that have been married for less than 10 years, and are doing what we can to make it work.
Back when Hubby, and I were just dating, we always talked about marriage. We had this great plan where I would graduate from school, work for a year, and then he would "surprise" me by popping the question. All of that went down the drain, when I got pregnant after only reconciling our relationship 3 weeks prior. Hubby's catholic parents wanted us to get married before we had our beloved Dari. I however, was against it. I felt like we had just gotten back together, and we had serious issues to work out before we could consider marriage. I wasn't about to drag our dead weight into a marriage. I didn't, and still don't care what anyone thinks about that. Hubby proposed to me when I was 7 months pregnant. It was very sweet, and cliche. He took me out to eat, and then proposed on the beach with candles, and everything. I remember the cops stopped next to us, and told us we weren't allowed to have open alcohol on the beach. I remember saying something like " I wish it was alcohol, but I'm 7 months pregnant. It's sparkling cider.". The cops finally realized what was going on, and drove off. We got married when our Dari was 5 months old. I just remember being so happy with our life, and thinking "why aren't we married?". I told hubby it's time to set aside some time to apply for a marriage license. We got married at the courts, a few weeks after that. It was small, and simple. We went to a photo studio, and took pictures afterwards. We also had a intimate dinner for close family, and friends at an awesome italian restaurant. Would I have wanted a wedding? Yes.. But marriage is more important.
Since getting married, I have changed alot. I often wonder how different things would have been, if we were married a few years before we started having kids. We came into this marriage as parents. That immediately changes the dynamic of a marriage. You have to work harder at your individual relationship with your partner. My life was so easily consumed by my Dari. He was, and still is our everything. Everything we did revolved around him. I think if we had even a year to ourselves to solidify our new relationship as husband, and wife, it would have made a difference. Instead, we were trying to find our groove as legal partners, while raising an infant. That's hardwork. Looking back, I can reflect on how it all played out. I'm not saying that I was miserable. I'm saying that we needed to work extra hard for our marriage, and I'm not sure we did..initially! I think overtime, as parenting became second nature, it allowed us breathing room to work on our connection with one another. Marriage is work but marriage is also about love. I suppose that not all marriages are love based, but mines is :).
After we got married, the dynamics of my relationships with my friends changed as well. I lost some friends after I became a parent, and I lost some after I got married. I was sad about it for awhile, but I realized that part of moving forward, is leaving people behind. For the friends that still remained, they proved themselves loyal, and true. However, it was just different. I remember how career oriented I used to be. I always knew I wanted to have a family, but I wasn't stressing it at that time. My friends and I were all about making connections, doing internships, and whatever else we needed to do to get ahead in my field. When I got pregnant with Dari, all of that changed for me...but my friends stayed the same. It took me awhile to realize that I had changed. My career was no longer my sole concern. I was growing a human being in my uterus! How amazing is that?? I felt like my world had stopped, but everyone kept moving forward. Once I found my joy in being a parent, that feeling slowly went away. I actually feel sorry for some of my friends, because it's hard to slow down and enjoy the ride. I feel that being surprised with Darien was Jehovah's way of gifting me with an amazing life. I'm also sooo thankful that I am not an old mom. I may, or may not have a 3rd child, but I can be happy with 2. Two kids that I had in my 20's! A personal goal of mine. To each its own.
I totally got off topic. I wanted to talk about how my hubby started asking me if I would be willing to go shopping for couple friends that are married. All of a sudden, hubby wanted to double date with people he knew, or met that were married. Initially, I was turned off. I was like, we already have friends... However, I quickly realized that he was on to something. Being married can be isolating. Only other married people can really understand what you are going through. For those of you that live with your bf/gf/baby daddy/partner, and think it's just like being married.. WRONG! It's entirely different. It's something you won't understand, until you're married. So, I started to see what my hubby was talking about. My friends are awesome, but it just wasn't the same. We have since met some married friends that we go out with occasionally. My best friend is also married with 2 kids, so we hang out alot with them.
What do you guys think about the relationship between marriage and kids, and marriage and friends??
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
I love my life, my kids, my hubby, and my career..
My first blog entry! Yay
I should start by introducing myself. My name is Sharon, and I am 29 years old. I am married to my very best friend, and high school sweetheart. We have been married for almost 5 years! Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. I can close my eyes, and still remember the proposal. I am also a mom to two amazing boys; Darien(5 years), Dylan (9months). They are my world, but I'm in a new state of constantly reminding myself that I was here first. I told myself that this year, I will put myself more. I never want to lose my identity in caring for my husband, and kids.
I am a Speech-Language Pathologist, but the road to get there was LONG. I was that untraditional student that didn't know what she wanted to do. My uncle always told me to "stay in school until you figure it out." In hindsight, great advice..but EXPENSIVE! My great grandkids will be paying off my loans. I've had about 4-5 majors. I started college, dead set on being a journalist. When I actually started taking courses in that field, I realized that I hated it...but I loved the writing part. That led me into English. I double majored in Speech, and English for awhile. However, it began to be too much for me, and I had to drop one. So, I ended up with an English minor. School was long, and hard..but I am very well educated. I know a little about everything.
Right now, I am in the process of earning my license in Speech-Language Pathology. It is a 9 month process if you are working full time. I've never felt so lost, and exhilarated all at once. That "ah-ha" moment when you know exactly how to help your client is an amazing feeling. You can never be bored. I am constantly challenged. It makes me want to do more, and learn more.
My family life is a rollercoaster. My oldest son is my mini me in every way. He is definitely a mama's boy. From the first day I laid eyes on him, I knew he was mines. We just had an instant connection. I call him my little linguist, because his language is ridiculous for a 5 year old. He's also very slick with the tongue. However, he knows where the line is. He creeps up to the line, taps it, and falls back. I get so annoyed, but I realize it's karma. My mom said that I always had to have the last word...not much has changed since then :). He's such a busy kid. He does gymnastics, and karate 12 months of the year. He also does swimming, cooking class, and soccer seasonally. My husband and I are like his chauffeur. He sits in the back of the car reading, using the iPad, eating, or being the worst backseat driver. We have a weekly schedule of who drives Dari to his classes. Most of the time, I don't mind it. I even sit, and observe his classes. He loves the support, and I like to see the progress. It's also a great way to spend time with him. He's such a busy kid, so I have to get in quality time whenever I can. Other times, I don't like driving him around. I even resent it. Then I remember how blessed I am to have a family, and a career. I think it's our nature to always desire what we don't have. Sometimes I am envious of my friends that are single, and without kids. I remember those days. However, everything I accomplish means so much to me because I have a husband at home waiting to hear my news, and I have kids to love on and inspire.
My baby boy Dylan is a moody little cutie. I call him my lazy baby. He refuses to exert himself. Up until recently, he was very laid back, and calm. I think being around my oldest son is turning him into a wild beast! Labor with him was hell! He just didn't want to come out. As a result, I had to have a c section. I remember the doctor trying to pull him out. My whole body was rocking with the pull motion. He really didn't want to come out! When she finally got him out, he had such an angry scowl on his face. He was also GINORMOUS ! 9lbs 9oz. No wonder I couldn't push him out! He would have ripped me down to my butthole!! High on morphine in the recovery room, I held my baby close. However, this one is definitely a daddy's boy. He lights up when he sees his daddy. I actually think it's incredibly sweet. My husband works alot, so it makes him feel good to know that his baby boy is waiting for him to come home.
My husband and I are now getting back into the groove with eachother. Having a baby can be a strain on your personal time together. It becomes all about the baby, and also making sure our oldest son feels extra loved. It also takes time for hormones to balance out after having kids. This time around, mines were out of whack up for awhile! So I was in that "don't touch me" type of mode. Now that we're over that hump, it's like falling in love all over again. I am so in love with my husband. He's kind, considerate, outgoing. I can take him to my speech conferences, and I know that he will be a great conversationalist. He has his vices, but so do I. We just accept eachother, and build up one another to new heights. I can't wait to celebrate our 5th year anniversary!
So I hope you guys like what you have read, and will subscribe to my weekly blog. It will be about any, and everything that comes to mind: Marriage, my juicing quest, family, raising kids in the city, friendship, speech chronicles, sex, etc.. I have thoughts, and experiences about all of these things.
SUBSCRIBE !!!
Sharon :)
I should start by introducing myself. My name is Sharon, and I am 29 years old. I am married to my very best friend, and high school sweetheart. We have been married for almost 5 years! Wow! Time flies when you're having fun. I can close my eyes, and still remember the proposal. I am also a mom to two amazing boys; Darien(5 years), Dylan (9months). They are my world, but I'm in a new state of constantly reminding myself that I was here first. I told myself that this year, I will put myself more. I never want to lose my identity in caring for my husband, and kids.
I am a Speech-Language Pathologist, but the road to get there was LONG. I was that untraditional student that didn't know what she wanted to do. My uncle always told me to "stay in school until you figure it out." In hindsight, great advice..but EXPENSIVE! My great grandkids will be paying off my loans. I've had about 4-5 majors. I started college, dead set on being a journalist. When I actually started taking courses in that field, I realized that I hated it...but I loved the writing part. That led me into English. I double majored in Speech, and English for awhile. However, it began to be too much for me, and I had to drop one. So, I ended up with an English minor. School was long, and hard..but I am very well educated. I know a little about everything.
Right now, I am in the process of earning my license in Speech-Language Pathology. It is a 9 month process if you are working full time. I've never felt so lost, and exhilarated all at once. That "ah-ha" moment when you know exactly how to help your client is an amazing feeling. You can never be bored. I am constantly challenged. It makes me want to do more, and learn more.
My family life is a rollercoaster. My oldest son is my mini me in every way. He is definitely a mama's boy. From the first day I laid eyes on him, I knew he was mines. We just had an instant connection. I call him my little linguist, because his language is ridiculous for a 5 year old. He's also very slick with the tongue. However, he knows where the line is. He creeps up to the line, taps it, and falls back. I get so annoyed, but I realize it's karma. My mom said that I always had to have the last word...not much has changed since then :). He's such a busy kid. He does gymnastics, and karate 12 months of the year. He also does swimming, cooking class, and soccer seasonally. My husband and I are like his chauffeur. He sits in the back of the car reading, using the iPad, eating, or being the worst backseat driver. We have a weekly schedule of who drives Dari to his classes. Most of the time, I don't mind it. I even sit, and observe his classes. He loves the support, and I like to see the progress. It's also a great way to spend time with him. He's such a busy kid, so I have to get in quality time whenever I can. Other times, I don't like driving him around. I even resent it. Then I remember how blessed I am to have a family, and a career. I think it's our nature to always desire what we don't have. Sometimes I am envious of my friends that are single, and without kids. I remember those days. However, everything I accomplish means so much to me because I have a husband at home waiting to hear my news, and I have kids to love on and inspire.
My baby boy Dylan is a moody little cutie. I call him my lazy baby. He refuses to exert himself. Up until recently, he was very laid back, and calm. I think being around my oldest son is turning him into a wild beast! Labor with him was hell! He just didn't want to come out. As a result, I had to have a c section. I remember the doctor trying to pull him out. My whole body was rocking with the pull motion. He really didn't want to come out! When she finally got him out, he had such an angry scowl on his face. He was also GINORMOUS ! 9lbs 9oz. No wonder I couldn't push him out! He would have ripped me down to my butthole!! High on morphine in the recovery room, I held my baby close. However, this one is definitely a daddy's boy. He lights up when he sees his daddy. I actually think it's incredibly sweet. My husband works alot, so it makes him feel good to know that his baby boy is waiting for him to come home.
My husband and I are now getting back into the groove with eachother. Having a baby can be a strain on your personal time together. It becomes all about the baby, and also making sure our oldest son feels extra loved. It also takes time for hormones to balance out after having kids. This time around, mines were out of whack up for awhile! So I was in that "don't touch me" type of mode. Now that we're over that hump, it's like falling in love all over again. I am so in love with my husband. He's kind, considerate, outgoing. I can take him to my speech conferences, and I know that he will be a great conversationalist. He has his vices, but so do I. We just accept eachother, and build up one another to new heights. I can't wait to celebrate our 5th year anniversary!
So I hope you guys like what you have read, and will subscribe to my weekly blog. It will be about any, and everything that comes to mind: Marriage, my juicing quest, family, raising kids in the city, friendship, speech chronicles, sex, etc.. I have thoughts, and experiences about all of these things.
SUBSCRIBE !!!
Sharon :)
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