5 years of marriage

Next month, Hubby and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary! I cannot believe it's been 5 years already. Time does fly when you're having fun. It also flies when you're stressed. Hey, marriage isn't easy. Just the idea of committing yourself to someone for eternity, is daunting. It's like... "soo...it's just you...forever??". Yet, we took the plunge. Why beat around the bush. We're soulmates!

I LOVE the Wendy Williams show. Wendy is always saying that women shouldn't get married in their 20's, because you're too young to make a lifelong commitment to another person. Ok..because having a boyfriend at 45 is every woman's dream. I mean, seriously? Here's the thing.. I don't really feel like I missed out on anything. I am truly enjoying my 20's. Before the kids, Hubby and I were off, and on..but we had most of the same friends...so we partied, traveled, studied, drank, etc..together! I made so many amazing memories, and now that he's my husband..im glad he was there back in the day to share those moments with me. I got married at 24. Some may say my life is over, but when I see others.. I think they look like lonely losers.. I'm just saying... If you're gonna throw shade (negativity) my way, let's make it a full 360, and I throw the shade right back at ya. If I wanna go clubbing, strip clubbing, drinking, traveling, etc.. I still can. However, my priorities have changed. I don't do it as often. Which is why, when I do, I make it count. #turnup #nopicturesallowed #closedcircleoffriendsonly.

We were supposed to renew our vows this year. It didn't work out, and I'm bummed about it...but I know we will do something amazing. How can this man drive me so crazy, and make me love him so much at the same time? I have no idea. We're just taking it one step at a time.

Also, I'm seeking gift ideas for our anniversary. Comment below!

Loving thy self

My mother told me that when I was growing up, my older brother, and sister got more attention than I did because they are light skinned. I don't really remember this, but she said I used to feel bad when my Bajan, and American relatives doted on them, and ignored my younger brother, and myself. I said to my mom " I don't believe any of this." She said that she, and my dad made it their business to build up my self esteem from young, because they knew there would be inherent biases with my being a dark skinned girl. She often jokes and says, she gave me a little bit too much of an ego. #truethat . I love me some Shay. Anywho, I truly thank my parents. My dad is an alcoholic, but he did the very best he could for us while battling this a debilitating disease. He made sure that I loved myself more than anyone else. Only now as an adult, can I truly appreciate how lucky I was to be raised to be taught the value of me. When you don't have self love, it affects every aspect of your life. It also affects the lives of the people in your life. I feel like I sometimes have the burden of dealing with friends, and associates with low self esteem.

Sorry you didn't get the memo, that loving you is the pre requisite of loving anyone else, but I did. I'm so tired of walking on egg shells because I don't want to be perceived as this "know it all, think she's better than me" type of person. It's not that. It's just that I'm very sure of myself. Of course I have insecurities, but I refuse to let it consume me. I just remind myself that the other person has insecurities as well. If you don't want my advice, don't ask me for it. If you just want me to listen, let me know. If you want me to say something in particular to make you feel better, put in a request. I don't have time to fix whatever issues you have from within. I know I'm a good person. When I love you, I won't say it too often. I'm just not that kind of gal..but i'll show you. I never turn my back on a TRUE friend. However, I don't have time for bitches harboring secret resentment. At some point, I have to know when to step back, and just focus on me. I have so much I want to accomplish in this lifetime, and I'm a Speech Therapist..not a psychologist. Word to the wise, learn how to love yourself. This goes for men, and women. Whitney Houston said it best " Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all."

Take note skinny bi***es

I couldn't point this woman out in a line up, but I remember exactly how this day went down.  Here I am, minding my own business while shopping at Marshalls. This woman walks up to me and says " I want you to know that I have been praying for you. No man, no husband, no sex, no kids, just me and jesus. One day you're gonna wake up, and all of that weight will have melted away." I was raised to always respect me elders. When elderly individuals feel the need to tell me their unwanted opinions, and how to parent my kids, I typically thank them (insincerely), and keep it moving. On this day, I was hot, tired, and not looking forward to the holiday line at the store. So it's not my proudest moment, but I told the woman that she needed the prayer because I have a man, husband, sex, and kids. I then walked away in annoyance. Like, what the hell?        

Here's my thing. Just because we physically stand out from the rest, doesn't give ANYONE the right to tell us what they think is best for us. We all have our vices, trials and tribulations, sins, or whatever. A heroin addict can walk by you, and you may not even know what's going on in their life. Here comes a fat person, and then everyone thinks they know exactly what's going on. Shut the fu** up skinny bit**es.  Let me live my life, make my mistakes, and learn from them. If you ain't my momma, my man,  or in my friends circle, keep it movin'!

This post is short, sweet, and effective. I hope you all learned something.